Salem Baptist, Salem, NM

Standing on the windswept shores of Lake Michigan one wintry night, ready to throw himself into the freezing waters, a 32-year-old bankrupt dropout happened to gaze up at the starry heavens. Suddenly, he felt a rush of awe, and a thought flashed through his mind: You have no right to eliminate Yourself You do not belong to t,ou. You belong to the universe. R. Buckminster Fuller turned his back to the lake and began a remarkable career. Best-known as the inventor of the geodesic dome, by the time of his death he held more than 170 patents and was world-famous as an engineer, mathematician, architect, and poet.

Buckminster Fuller’s experience that night on Lake Michigan merely echoed the words of the ancient psalmist, who also contemplated the night sky and was awed by its grandeur:

When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is man that you are mindful of him, the son of man that you care for him?

The psalmist was inclined to feel insecure and inadequate in the face of such magnificence, but back came a resounding reply to his question:

You made him a little lower than God and crowned him with glory and honor (Ps. 8:3-5).

Like it or not (for it does carry with it certain responsibilities as well as glories), we have been created by God, and our Creator has endowed us with remarkable capacities.

Alan Loy McGinnis. Confidence: How to Succeed at Being Yourself (pp. 22-23). Kindle Edition.

One of the strangest things we observe in therapy is that people who doubt themselves often cannot accept compliments. One would suppose that if people have low self-confidence, they would be eager to accept accolades. But it is the opposite: if their self-perception is off and they dislike the way they are, they will not be talked out of that self-view, no matter what people try to say. When someone criticizes, they hear every word, but compliments drift over them.

Here is the way it works. We appear to have an inner filter that allows only certain data in. That is, you hear only the remarks that conform to your view of yourself. Let’s say you believe the following things about yourself:

• I’m pretty good at sports.
• I’m poor at math.
• My IQ is about average.
• I’ve got a pretty face but a terrible figure.

When new data comes toward you, it is run through this filter. If it fits what you think you are, then the filter lets it in. If someone says, “You’re really good at tennis,” that’s allowed in, and you thank the person for the compliment, because the remark conforms to your belief system (I’m good at sports). But if someone says, “You’re sure looking nice and trim,” that is screened out, because your inner picture is of someone with a terrible figure.

A few years ago I saw a dramatic instance of such skewed self-perception in one of our therapy groups. We were going around the room talking about body images, and when we got to one woman, she said, “Well, I see myself as fat and pimply.” At that, the group broke into laughter, because she was about 5’8″ and slender as a model, with beautiful, long hair and clear skin. What had happened was that in adolescence she had been fat and pimply. People had let her know how unattractive she was-probably with great cruelty. This internal picture of herself did not change when she changed. Hadn’t anyone been telling her in the meantime that she was beautiful and slender? I’m fairly certain they had. But her filter had successfully screened those compliments out.

Alan Loy McGinnis. Confidence: How to Succeed at Being Yourself (pp. 24-25). Kindle Edition.

There is another factor that causes us to be obsessed with our limitations: the tendency to compare ourselves with others. There is probably no other habit that chips away at our self-confidence so effectively as the habit of scanning the people around us to see how we compare. It is as if we have a radar dish on our foreheads, constantly searching to see if someone else is quicker, tanner, or brighter. And when we find that at times someone is, we are devastated.

The folly of basing our self-estimate on comparisons is that it puts us on a roller-coaster. Perhaps we are feeling fairly good about our appearance one day, and we find ourselves in the company of someone with stunningly good looks. Suddenly we feel ugly and want to disappear. Or perhaps we know we have above-average intelligence, but we happen to be at lunch with people who are even smarter. Then every word that comes out of our mouths sounds like intellectual sludge.

Some of us grew up with older brothers and sisters who we desperately wanted to emulate, but of course we were doomed from the start. For no matter how hard we tried to catch up, we found ourselves smaller, clumsier, and dumber than they were. And when they ridiculed us-as all older siblings do-we learned to criticize ourselves. In many cases this became a lifelong habit.

But God did not make us to be like our siblings or anyone else. We are absolutely unique. We are the product of 23 chromosomes from our mothers and 23 chromosomes from our fathers, and geneticists say that the odds of our parents having another child like us are one in 102 111x) (“)’”"‘ The combination of attributes that constitutes us will never be duplicated. If this is true, and if it is true that we are created by God-an original by a master artist-it makes the exploration and development of that uniqueness an item of the highest priority.

Alan Loy McGinnis. Confidence: How to Succeed at Being Yourself (pp. 25-26). Kindle Edition.

Dr. Lloyd John Ogilvie sums up the doctrine well when he says, “Nothing you could do could make God love you more than He does right now.”

A few years ago I saw a dramatic instance of such skewed self-perception in one of our therapy groups. We were going around the room talking about body images, and when we got to one woman, she said, “Well, I see myself as fat and pimply.” At that, the group broke into laughter, because she was about 5’8″ and slender as a model, with beautiful, long hair and clear skin. What had happened was that in adolescence she had been fat and pimply. People had let her know how unattractive she was-probably with great cruelty. This internal picture of herself did not change when she changed. Hadn’t anyone been telling her in the meantime that she was beautiful and slender? I’m fairly certain they had. But her filter had successfully screened those compliments out.

Alan Loy McGinnis. Confidence: How to Succeed at Being Yourself (p. 25). Kindle Edition.

Enjoy some good food and fellowship at Sparky’s tonight at 6.30. See you there!

Josh

PS
Anyone in the mood for games afterwards?

All of us have weaknesses. The trick is to determine which ones are improvable, then get to work on those and forget about the rest. For example, some of us will never be as good at math as others. But the important thing is to stop kicking ourselves when we are not quick at math problems and develop the things we are good at. Jesus’ parable about the talents has as its inescapable conclusion that the distribution of gifts in this world is not our concern. Our responsibility is to take the talents with which we find ourselves and ardently parlay them to the highest possible achievement.

Take the case of Yoshihiko Yamamoto, of Nagoya City, Japan. When he was six months old his parents learned that he suffered from hydrocephalus. an abnormal accumulation of fluid on the brain. Physicians told his parents that their child was probably mentally retarded. With a hearing loss that strangled his speech and an IQ that was never tested at higher than 47, one would have thought his future very bleak.

But then he acquired a new special education teacher. Takashi Kawasaki liked his new, well-behaved pupil. Gradually the boy began to smile in class, and slowly he learned to copy the letters from the chalkboard and write his name. He spent long hours painstakingly copying cartoons from books and magazines.

One day Yamamoto drew an accurate sketch of the Nagoya Castle. The clear lines of the picture reminded his teacher of a print. He had the boy transfer his design to a wood block and encouraged him to concentrate on printmaking. Eventually, Kawasaki entered some of Yamamoto’s prints in an art contest in Nagoya City, and he won first prize. Today bankers and storekeepers buy the student’s work to adorn their walls. Yamamoto still requires a very ordered life and likes his schedule unvaried. He gets up at 7:00 every morning, makes his bed, eats breakfast at 7:40, and takes the 8:00 bus to school, where he writes in his picture diary and then works on his prints. At noon he goes to the shopping center, buys his favorite bread for lunch, and is back to school and at his prints promptly at 1:00. He leaves for home at 5:00, has supper, watches TV, and goes to bed on schedule.

Is it important that Yoshihiko Yamamoto does not have as high an IQ as most, or that he has limitations? No, the important thing is that he is doing the best he can with what he has. Rather than getting obsessed with his limitations, he has capitalized on his potential.

Alan Loy McGinnis. Confidence: How to Succeed at Being Yourself (pp. 28-29). Kindle Edition.

When Jane and her son Kevin walked into the church for the first time, they felt a bit overwhelmed. “Where are you taking me in this big place?” was the question going through Kevin’s mind as they made their way to Promiseland. After the service, Kevin had a new question, “Can we come back again?”

In order to accomplish our mission we look at every corner of Promise-land through the eyes of kids just like Kevin. As we do, we challenge ourselves with a variety of questions:

• Are we doing the kinds of things children really enjoy?
• Are we singing the style of songs children want to sing?
• Are we teaching the lessons children will understand?
• Would children invite lost friends here?

Honest answers to these questions will indicate how child-targeted a ministry is. To increase the “honesty factor,”ask these very questions to volunteers, parents, and kids—and don’t debate their answers.

Right now, you might be tempted to think, “We certainly are child-targeted because, duh, we are a children ’s ministry.” Don ’t let yourself off that easy. I have a long list of things I’ve been told we should not do in Promiseland because adults might not like it. Adults? I suspect many children’s ministry leader receive pressure to please adult tastes. My response is, and yours can be too, “We have a place for the adults . . . it ’s called the morning service, and everything in it is for the adults —to minister to them on their terms Promiseland is for kids!”

And because every children’s ministry is for kids, deliberateness about our kids’ activities is needed. Someone must constantly look for or write new music; give close examination to how long kids sit during a lesson;and look at the places children like to go for ideas on decor. This value, Child-Targeted, serves as a constant reason to consider change.

For instance, kids gave us low report card scores on music when we first adopted this value. They were adamant that our music was outdated. At first we didn’t know what to do, because in 1989 not many real hot children’s songs were available. We decided to ask our volunteers for help in putting together fresh music. We needed catchy music and lyrics, with cool motions, that made Bible truths learned on Sunday memorable Monday through Friday. That happens with pop music, so why not in Promiseland? Today a large number of our elementary-age kids regularly listen to CDs of tunes first learned during weekends at church.

One of my favorite songs, “Don’t Forget,”1has become a regular in Promiseland’s early childhood area. The melody is simple to pick up, the lyrics are easy for young kids, and the motions are irresistible. Imagine the impact on a three-year-old who remembers this chorus:

Another challenging area is environment. Each weekend, Promiseland must convert plain, corporate-looking space into bright rooms with decor and furnishings that appeal to kids. And to do it all within a limited budget we have to be creative. During a ten-week camp theme, for example, small tents appeared in the hallways, as did signs warning, “Don’t feed the bears!” Every week, three-year-olds enter their room by descending down a small slide. Four- and five-year-olds enter through a miniature door that’s too small for an adult, but just right for a kid. Children see this and think, “This is for me!” And they’re right.

Each weekend, Promiseland must convert plain, corporate-looking space into bright rooms with decor and furnishings that appeal to kids.

Staal, David (2009). Making Your Children’s Ministry the Best Hour of Every Kid’s Week (pp. 68-69). Zondervan. Kindle Edition.

Kayla scans Promiseland as her parents assure her they will return for her as soon as the big church service ends. She watches kids having fun at a variety of activity stations and thinks, “Seems good so far. Nothing boring yet. A lot of kids are having a good time. Maybe this place will be okay.”

The reason for this value is quite simple—kids won’t come back willingly if it’s not fun. And they certainly won’t invite their friends. An absence of fun will result in an absence of kids.

Kids pay us one of their highest compliments when they say Promise-land is fun. This is a high value to us because children are more motivated to learn in a fun-filled environment. Let’s be honest—you and I are more motivated to learn and serve when we’re having fun, too!

I have good news about fun—it’s easy to figure out! Here’s our approach: Talk to parents about what kids like to do, and watch how kids play outside of church. Add surprises on Sundays because kids love surprises. Mix in celebrations. Physical activities are a must. Sprinkle in humor that they understand. We know immediately if we’re hitting the fun value—smiles and bright eyes say it all.

Look for grown-up grins, too. When kids are having fun, adults will follow. And when creative elements are added to staff and volunteer team meetings, maybe a mystery game or generous amounts of chocolate (every adult involved in children’s ministry likes chocolate!), the result is a spirit of community that keeps the team together and eager for future meetings. Fun is an allegiance that becomes the wonder of other ministries. Think for a moment, is there any other area of the church that can say they count fun as a core value?

Staal, David (2009). Making Your Children’s Ministry the Best Hour of Every Kid’s Week (pp. 80-81). Zondervan. Kindle Edition.

A series of studies we conducted regarding the age at which people accept Christ as their Savior highlights the importance of having people invite Jesus into their heart as their Savior when they are young. We discovered that the probability of someone embracing Jesus as his or her Savior was 32 percent for those between the ages of 5 and 12; 4 percent for those in the 13- to 18-age range; and 6 percent for people 19 or older. In other words, if people do not embrace Jesus Christ as their Savior before they reach their teenage years, the chance of their doing so at all is slim.

The importance of building strong spiritual foundations at an early age is again confirmed by recognizing that in 2003, there was virtually no difference between the spiritual standing of adults and those exiting their childhood years. Specifically, 4 percent of 13-year-olds were evangelicals compared to just 6 percent of adults; 34 percent of the 13-year-olds were born again, which was slightly less than the 38 percent found among adults. In other words, by the age of 13, your spiritual identity is largely set in place. Thousands of people decide to embrace Christ as their Savior each year, but from a statistical vantage point the number of Christians is not increasing—the new believers are essentially replacing the Christians who died or those who renounced their faith in Christ. My tracking of religious beliefs and behavior for more than a quarter century has revealed that the spiritual condition of adolescents and teenagers changes very little, if at all, as they age. When significant change is evident, it usually is attributable to a dramatic intrusion of the Holy Spirit into their lives.

Barna, George (2003). Transforming Children into Spiritual Champions (p. 34). Gospel Light Publications. Kindle Edition.